


Consent

by Zygella



Series: Diamond Visits [39]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blue really just wants to understand, Gen, She feels bad, consent lessons, fusion and fusing are different in the grand scheme, fusion talk, underlying nonconsent themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zygella/pseuds/Zygella
Summary: "I feel like I’m being left behind. I don’t understand why I can’t just accept that fusion is okay. Maybe it’s something about the old rules, but I have a feeling that it’s just as much my fault as it is the old system Homeworld had.”





	Consent

**Author's Note:**

> "Zy wtf you posted like an hour ago whats happening"
> 
> You underestimate my drive to distract myself from my problems
> 
> This was lowkey a topic we talked about in the Discord based off of an earlier part of the series so thats why this exists, I was in the whole shower doing my Blue Diamond voice and basically talked out the entire fic to my shower wall

“Why are you here? Don’t play games with me, Blue Diamond.”

 

Blue flinched at the harshness of the fusion’s words, but she understood why she deserved it. This wasn’t easy for either of them. The last time they’d talked about fusion, Yellow had been there, and somehow the golden general had made the atmosphere more controlled and calm. But… Blue knew the burning hatred that Garnet still harbored for her. At no point did she doubt that she deserved that either.

 

“I… I understand if you wish I rather leave instead of talking about what brought me here. I’ve come to ask for help, not in a way that I expect you to follow an order. I ask in a way that I look up to you about this.” She started slowly.

 

Something in the authority’s words struck Garnet. She sat up from the chair she had been lounging in outside on Steven’s house porch, tilting her glasses down to look at her without them. The diamond nearly flinched again, but directed her gaze down instead. She couldn’t bare to hold the steely gaze of the fusion.

 

“Then continue.” Garnet said after a while, sitting back and crossing her arms.

 

“I know that we had a past talk about fusion, and I know at no point did that fix all of the things we did in the past for you. I still understand that. I’m not here to ask for your forgiveness, if anything I ask you never forgive me. But… recently, Yellow fused with White back on Homeworld.”

 

Garnet’s mouth dropped. “Oh?”

 

Blue made a face, continuing. “I don’t feel threatened by White at all over it. It’s just… myself. Both of them seemed to have changed and evolved to the point where they can accept fusion no problem. Then… there’s me. For some reason, I still feel… wrong about it. I feel stuck. Yellow has grown so much, and now White is following her footsteps closely. I feel like I’m being left behind. I don’t understand why I can’t just accept that fusion is okay. Maybe it’s something about the old rules, but I have a feeling that it’s just as much my fault as it is the old system Homeworld had.”

 

Another pause, Blue taking a breath to keep herself from falling off the rails.

 

“I know you know I’ve fused with Yellow a few times. Hell, I even asked for it. And part of me really did want and enjoy it, but… another part of me asked almost out of a sense of obligation. That part of me… wasn’t quite okay with it. And I don’t want that. I want to be able to accept fusion as a normal part of our kind, whether it be of the same gem or different gems. Please, is there anything you can do to help me? At no point do you have to say yes to helping me, either. If anything, I’d expect you to say no. No one in their right mind would agree to help a past abuser like this… oh, stars, I really tried to shatter your Ruby. Where would any of us be if I really had?”

 

Blue felt herself crumbling to her intrusive negative thoughts, before a tiny hand laid itself on her shoulder, before Garnet herself just simply sat there on her shoulder with a thoughtful look.

 

“I find it very prideful that you are even making this much of an effort to change. However, there are some things about fusion you need to know aren’t all positive. Fusion is a very intimate type of thing. There is a fine line between accepting fusion as a normal thing, and wanting to fuse yourself. I think this is what your mixing up in your head, the resulting outcome making you think you still don’t accept fusion. I think, in my opinion, that you do, in a way. Perhaps you aren’t as enthusiastic about showing it, and that’s okay. What worries me is the fact you agreed and asked for fusion out of obligation. Something like that is dangerous, and you need to remember that both parties should be certain in the fact that they are okay with it.” Garnet said with a blunt tone.

 

“But… how can I have changed if I’m not okay with it?” Blue asked, genuinely confused.

 

“Like I said. There is a difference between being okay with  _ fusion  _ and being okay with  _ fusing.  _ Fusion is just the overall concept and idea. You can be okay with that, be okay with other people doing it, and that’s just fine. However, fusing also includes the action of doing it. I think it’s that part that you aren’t comfortable with. And no one says that you have to learn to be okay with it either. It’s completely fine to not want to partake in the action yourself. As long as you aren’t actively shaming or yelling at others for doing it, you aren’t in the wrong. Trust me, Blue. There are other Crystal Gems that live here that are in the same boat as you.”

 

“It just… feels wrong to me. I should be able to want to fuse, shouldn’t I?”

 

Garnet shook her head. “No one has to want to fuse. Someone forcing you into fusion is just as bad as condemning it entirely. Don’t feel ashamed to tell Yellow that you aren’t comfortable with fusing yourself.”

 

Blue let out a breath, a small smile gracing her lips. “Thank you, Garnet. I know I must have said sorry to you many times already, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing for my actions.”

 

Garnet leapt off her shoulder and back onto the lounge chair. “No problem. And yes, I still haven’t forgiven you for your past actions, but everyone’s going through major changes nowadays. Perhaps, someday in the future, I can say the same about my feelings towards this particular thing.” She waved a hand at the diamond, who’s smile had grown larger at that statement. “Go off and find your girlfriend, I’m sure she misses you right now. Talk to her about your feelings. It’s important.”

 

Blue rolled her eyes at the not-so-subtle shooing, and walked of per her request. When Garnet was alone, she started talking aloud to herself.

 

“Did you see that one coming?”

 

“It was a possibility. I’m a bit proud of her, in a weird way. The fact that she came to talk to us on her own choice about this showed me she really is changing.”

 

“...Do you really mean what you said? Do you think we can forgive her one day?”

 

“I think we could, after awhile. It may not be the best choice, but it’s a positive choice. She doesn’t expect us to ever forgive her anyways. She understands the severity of her actions.”

 

“I guess you’re right.”

 

“I’m always right.”

 

“Real humble, Sapphy.”

**Author's Note:**

> there's a difference between being okay with fusion and being okay with fusing.
> 
> Here's a link to the discord, have fun trying to save me from being a loner I guess; https://discord.gg/sQvZRZE


End file.
